There’s cool trivia online where you can test your knowledge on classic films, culture, and events that happened throughout time. Some of these websites are full of ads and make it impossible to play, but others are streamlined and make family get togethers – with multiple generations – that much more fun. Last night, we found one on YouTube from a channel called Extra Medium Stuff. It’s not always about classics, but they do test knowledge on all subjects. The best part of all was that my 65-year-old mother played with us “kids” and not one person was bored.

If you watch any of these videos, you’ll start to notice that they also use participants of various ages. That makes it interesting to see how memory and education work throughout time. You can also identify which young person has an old soul, and which elderly person stays sharp by keeping up with subjects mentioned in trivia games. Pop culture changes, but certain things don’t.

Subjects That Change Throughout History

Movies
Dance Moves
Songs
Technology
Economics
Events

Subjects That Don’t Change with Time

Geography
Sports
Classic authors
Food
Scientific names
Chemistry
Mathematics

To be fair, sure, some of these things change, but most of the time there is a common theme. For example, what’s the most sold vegetable in the world? If you guessed potato, you’re correct. What’s the most common food eaten in America? French Fries, but that could’ve been different throughout time. Perhaps it was pea salad, or liver, or meatloaf. But if you look at the breakfast plate of many Americans, especially in a place like Georgia or Alabama, you’re going to see eggs, bacon, and potatoes, paired with coffee and orange juice.

I’m rambling here but wanted to write this because it was a good time to play trivia with my mother. She knew a lot of the current or more recent pop culture answers because of her granddaughters. And I knew how to identify the dance move The Twist, when they showed a picture of two people posed in a twisted position. Caregivers could seriously add to a senior’s life if they bring trivia into the mix of their duties. I mean, if you’re going to offer companion care to your mom or dad, why not add fun games that build their cognitive function?

And what’s more is that you also get smarter and support your brain. How can brain work be so much fun? Everyone gets something out of this.

Here’s a cute little story. My youngest niece is seven years old. During my brother’s birthday party, we all sat around the table outside to share stories and enjoy refreshments. My niece wanted to play the “Question Game” where she asks a question and everyone gives their answer while the rest of us listen. The questions got deep, too.

She asked things like:

• What’s your first memory?
• If you had 6 months to live, how would you spend it?
• If you had one superpower, what would it be?

Our answers were heartfelt and my little niece also answered with emotion. We were all surprised at how adult she seemed. We often refer to her as an old soul, or “the little old lady in a kid’s body” because she is fascinated by things we mostly see adults fascinated with – like constellations, math, oil painting, crocheting, gardening, baking, you name it. This girl studies it all.

Can you imagine a game of trivia with her and my mother competing? It’d be worth the watch! So, for me, and my siblings, as caregivers for my mother, we get the kids involved. We all play games where everyone feels included. If you’re a family caretaker, then maybe trivia is your next form of entertainment.

Give it a try and let me know how it went! We’re going to play ours for Thanksgiving!

In a day and age where tablets, phones, and digital products remain glued in the tiny hands of children, we are feeling lost as adults. How are we supposed to get kids to be kids? Are they losing social skills that we all learned from play and familial surroundings? As children, we had no choice but to mingle with our peers outside or with our elders at home. Sure, we had a television and a computer, if you’re a millennial, but for most of us, we didn’t get the same distractions with technology as our youth do today.

Truth is those phones they’re always on are the new form of a social life. It’s a fragile area to tell a kid to put down the phone because for them, texting and social media is all they know of developing social skills. In fact, they can be missing out on those skills if they are off their phones.

Before you get upset about that, yes, there is a limit. Luckily today parents can lock phones at certain times and place a curfew. Social media accounts can be monitored and even text messages and phone calls.

Still, our experience of a social life is drastically changing and it’s important to know that this is the evolution of socializing. It is just as crucial to send a text to a friend as it was to walk over to your friend’s house to have some cookies their mom baked. So then, if social skills are the same in that regard, how are they different?

Eye contact, body language, and everything else that comes with being with someone in person. That’s why balance is more needed now than ever before. If a young person’s idea of socializing is texting or facetiming, think about how that impacts seniors. Many elderly people have trouble using a phone. Thankfully they can handle a video call, but texting is more than likely out the window. Their eyes aren’t made for digital screens. Sure, they can be taught how to adapt to using them, but it is still not how they get their social lives exercised. And a senior without a social life is a senior who feels lonely.

Kids today need to have the skills it takes to talk with seniors. Of course, that’s not on their radar. Social media has become so quick and has shortened attention spans in every user, not just children. This means that old people are very, very boring and far too slow in speech and movement to keep a child patient. Now we have a major disconnect from the younger generations to the older ones.

Our grandparents want to be around young people – it keeps them young! If they’re lucky enough to have grandchildren, are they connecting with them? Let’s say you’re someone from the sandwich generation where you have children and you’re caring for your mom or dad. Have you noticed how your kids interact with your parents? Is it different than how you interacted with your grandparents?

We knew a grandmother once who hardly cared to be a part of her grandchildren’s lives. She had three sons and loved them all dearly.. Once her sons got married, well, naturally no daughter-in-law could replace her. Surprisingly, she wasn’t too harsh to her son’s wives. She learned to accept them and even care for them. There was only one condition: she was still to be a big part of her sons’ lives. And so she was.

Grandchildren weren’t as special. She wasn’t neglectful, per se, just over the idea of “raising” children again. Her time has come and gone for being a parent. Often, we’d hear the sons and their wives say that no one helped them raise their kids. They’d say, “she wasn’t a grandmother. She barely called or checked in. She was hardly available when we needed help the most. We were on our own.” In fact, grandma sold her home, got an RV, and moved away to live in her retirement years away from obligations.

Now, think about this. Was she wrong to do this? Was she awful to have not been more helpful for her sons and daughters-in-law in raising grandchildren? Was it her new role to be the parent for everyone? We see this happen to adults who have their own children young, like in their twenties. When we recall being in our twenties, we still felt like kids ourselves! We still called mom and dad for help and guidance. Add our own children to the mix and you have got a world of needs to fulfill. And you want mom and dad’s help, still.

Here’s the thing. Our grandparents were raised fast. Their childhood was quick and over. They had to grow up and become mini adults before the age of puberty. Getting married and having children may have happened even younger than we can imagine today. This means, when they raised you, they wanted you to have more of a childhood. You didn’t have to grow up too fast – nowhere near as fast as they did. But when you decided to move out and get married and have children of your own, that was it. You were officially an adult and being raised by your mom and dad was over.

To them, if you’re old enough to start a family of your own and care for your own house, then you shouldn’t be calling on for help every single day. It’s a hard pill to swallow. Most of us are still immature in our twenties so this is a harsh reality. However, it happens. Millennials, today, can rely on their parents a little more because their parents understand how that parental neglect while raising a family hurts them. Count yourself lucky for what you do have.

Still, was this old grandmother wrong to dust her hands off and move away to live as freely as she wished? Not at all. She earned it. Is it unfortunate that she didn’t tend to her legacy more so? Perhaps and perhaps not. If she was content in knowing the family and generations she helped create were alive and well, then there isn’t anything wrong or immoral about that. If you’re offended by it, maybe you need to ask yourself if you’re afraid to face the reality that you are an adult now and must tend to your own outcomes of your choices. Don’t worry, though. We understand that we want the support to come from our bloodline, but that’s not always the case. And we are sorry for that. But there are a lot of support groups who are willing to share the help needed to raise children.

Just because grandma prefers to free herself and enjoy her golden years, doesn’t mean you’re alone. Seek the help you need, because they are out there. And fall in love with the idea that the grandmother of your children is happy with how things turned out. One day you’d like to be in her shoes, too. Give her a break. She has earned this chapter in her life’s book.

Perhaps today is the day to talk about the romanticization that the film industry puts out on senior living and the respect children back in the day had. Last night we watched a television show from 1962 that did not filter reality of being old and young. In each age group you had your rotten kid and you had your bitter grandmother. Both were conniving, manipulative, vengeful, verbally abusive, and scary to be around.

As much as we like to paint a picture of a beautiful world where old people age gracefully and young people are pure and full of wonder, it’s best to accept that in real life, that’s not always the case. Although, it can be with some time and an open mind to change. People aren’t perfect. No two parents raise their kids the same way. And no two elderly grandparents spoil their grandchildren the same. The two worlds can be opposites.

In one family, you have children who balance play, follow all rules, say please and thank you, hug and kiss their grandparents before doing anything else when visiting, then go to bed on time every night like little angels.

In another family you have grandparents that live for their grandchildren and wish to see them as often as they can. They sneak cash into their grandchildren’s pockets, feed them the sweetest of treats, and say yes to anything those children ask for.

Meanwhile, across the street, you have kids with neglectful parents or those who are abusive. Typically, these children will come to resent those around them and take actions that stimulate a response from their parents or grandparents. To be punished is to be noticed.

Then you have the grandmother who despises her daughter-in-law and the children she gave birth to; not all children, just the one that looks like her. She makes passive-aggressive comments about how lazy her daughter-in-law is. She gossips to her visiting friends about how terrible of a mother she is. In return, she neglects her grandchildren and is strict with rules when they are near. No one, but her own son, is worthy of her love and attention. And no one in this world deserves her son’s love and attention as she does.

These are clearly hypothetical situations and don’t occur as this. However, it has happened. And the reason we even wrote about them is because we can count on two hands the number of family situations where this has occurred in our own lives. Maybe that’s why we fantasize about positive and bright familial settings. That’s probably the reason we dream about being in grandma’s kitchen and baking a cake with her. We see ourselves with smiles from ear-to-ear, storing such fond memories of sweet scents and laughter.

It’s okay to have been a product of a negative situation. If you were one of those kids who grew up with cold grandparents, you’re not alone. If you’re a senior who feels sad about how your grandkids turned out, you’re not alone, either. It’s still perfectly normal to envision fantasies. And surely, there must be at least one or two beautiful moments within your family that you can take to heart and keep forever. If you are one of these people, stick around and find an article that makes you happy. Get insights into shows we watch that make us smile, like the Twilight Zone’s Kick the Can episode.

Although it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, it’s nice to know there are films and real-life stories out there that make us feel normal. Thankfully, black-and-white films don’t always hide the truth. It’s good to know we have people like Boris Karloff and Rod Serling who shed light on the truths and mysteries of our existence as humans. The imagination can be a wonderful place to live and can heal even the deepest wounds.

There’s a visual we can’t get out of our heads. We grew up with a “grandmother” on every street. Most of these elderly people were once neighbors in Portugal who immigrated to the States living near each other. This meant that as kids, we had an aunt and grandmother at every corner.

As streets were safer in the eighties and early nineties where we grew up, we’d play outside for hours, with the ability to take our bikes within a mile or two from home. No matter where we ventured, there would be someone who knew us waiting to invite us in for lemonade and cookies. Our parents didn’t need to serve us lunch, as that was always taken care of – when we were hungry, someone nearby would feed us and feed us well.

One of our best friends didn’t live near us, but her great aunt did. When she came over to play, we’d ride our bikes and play kickball or hide-and-seek on the streets several blocks away from our home. One day our friend asked if we’d like to go see if her great aunt had a snack to satisfy our hunger. Back east you would hardly use someone’s front door, as that was left for solicitors. We’d travel to the backyard and find a door that led either downstairs to a finished basement, or upstairs to the main living area (usually a kitchen, first).

On this occasion we went to the basement where our friend’s great aunt was making lemonade from scratch. We didn’t need an invitation – she held a mindset to always expect a visitor every day – at least it seemed that way – and she prepared food as if those thoughts would come true. That seemed to work, because we popped in unexpectedly where she had goodies ready to serve.

We remember her face lit up as she turned around to see us. As a Catholic widow, she was dressed in all black – black loafers, black nylons, a long black skirt, a black blouse, and a black cardigan. Her hair was white and grey, brought up into a bun at the top of her head, with wispy tendrils framing her face. Her eyes were cloudy, probably from cataracts, and the skin around her face was aged and wrinkled. Her hands shook as she served us a plate of biscuits and brought over the pitcher of lemonade.

We don’t recall her sitting to have a conversation with us. Our friend and we talked about the games we played and the games we’d still play. The old woman never once interrupted us or demanded us to work or be anything other than what we were in that moment. We’d like to think she simply appreciated the visit and that was all she needed.

We never saw her again after that one and only visit. Strange how something so quick and random in one day of our youth has become a vivid memory. All we remember is that this woman was so kind and gentle. She was peaceful to be around, yet very old. As kids, her age did not scare us. Dressed in all black, one could’ve easily spread a tale that she was a witch conjuring up a poison in her lemonade cauldron. However, the air around her was calming and made us feel like we were her grandchildren. She didn’t ask who we were. She just loved that we were there.

This old woman probably had no idea how much of an impact she made on our memory. She probably never thought twice about how much she made us feel welcome. Perhaps that experience was more selfish for her than it was generous. Not in a negative way, but in a way that she felt at peace sharing her generosity and home even for a moment, to even strangers. That she could sleep better that night knowing she was surrounded by happy children.

Despite our other blogs about negative situations between children and seniors, this is a real moment that happened to us that validates why this site exists. This isn’t some grand story. It only served as merely 15 minutes in our entire lives! Yet it held some much power and left us with a beautiful fantasy of what being old can be like.

As kids, we didn’t realize how wonderful this snack break had been. Not until now, as adults, have we found appreciation in that moment. Which tells us that every day we have an opportunity to leave someone a beautiful memory. Even though they may not recall it until decades later, we still have the power to warm up someone’s heart for the rest of their lives. This old woman whom we met for a brief moment, had taught us one of the most important lessons in life: treat others, always, how you’d like to be treated, but do so with the acceptance that you may never know the impact your kindness made.

We were once very stubborn in the lessons our matriarchs taught us. We have an aunt who took great pride in her bath rituals. A mother who always wore sunscreen. A great aunt who added a simple accessory to make even the blandest outfit look chic. And a grandmother who knew the power of a trademark perfume. Often, we hear stories about aunts, grandmothers, and mothers who took self-care to the next level. Their hair was always done. Their makeup was effortlessly put on in such a natural yet glamourous way. Their nails were neat and clean. Their skin was dewy and youthful with a bright glow.

How did they do it? With raising kids and no internet to act as a babysitter, how did our matriarchs look so well put together? And how’d they make us look so cute, too?

When we were little girls, we borrowed our mother’s Avon samples and practiced our own makeup during playtime. Of course, blue eyeshadow smudged on your lips doesn’t look good unless it’s Halloween, but we didn’t care. We felt beautiful and we did our best mimicking what our own mother did in the mirror.

That aunt who loved baths? She had creams for years on her vanity for every part of her body. When we visited around Christmas time, the youngest of us girls would go and doll ourselves up with her secret potions hoping to get skin as dewy as our aunt’s. When our aunt came to check on us, she smiled and taught us a few lessons on how to appropriately apply her skincare products. As teenagers, we soaked the knowledge up. As adults surrounded by social media trends, we seemed to throw out all our matriarch’s advice.

Hundreds of dollars later and products filling every cabinet and drawer, we still aren’t achieving the same appearance as the women in our family. Our makeup still can’t look as good as our mother’s Avon products. We’ve been tricked and wasted so much money trying to achieve what our matriarch’s already locked in. Why? Because marketing and filters make us believe that today’s products can perform miracles compared to back in the day.

This couldn’t be far from the truth. One lesson we learned recently was when we got Rosacea. We tried every name brand formula to help heal our skin concerns, and they were expensive. Then we saw a Dermatologist, and they said a gentle natural cleanser at night with a splash of tepid water only for the morning. What? You mean we aren’t supposed to put on ten different serums morning and night? Nope. And believe it or not, our skin is less dry and inflamed.

It took a Dermatologist to remind us of what our matriarchs taught us those years ago. Do less, achieve more and get better results. It’s not about the cost of products. Much of it has to do with application. And looking at our matriarchs today, we can see that all those efforts worked. Now, in their 60’s, 70’s and 80’s, we are still jealous of how well they aged and how great their skin and hair look.

Never ignore the beauty advice from the women in your family. They know more than social media. Believe us, this will save you so much time and money.