I’ve recently pondered moving away but the older I get the more I’d like to be near family. It’s strange not to move on to live out your own life. I mean, animals do that in the wild, like lions. There are stories about mothers who don’t want their children to move. It’s a stretch to accept them even living next door. Then there are mothers who themselves move away from their children. I think as humans, we’re all somewhere on one side or the other, and in-between.
You see, my father died when I was young and it happened right when I moved to a nearby town. It wasn’t too far away, but far enough to make me realize that I could’ve seen him the days before he passed. I did not. The last time I saw him was four days prior. My siblings and mother got to see him even the hour before he left for his walk that morning, when he suffered a heart attack. It happened so fast and it forever left an impression on me.
Our loved ones pass away. Sure, we face death in our family, but if you’ve never faced one very close to you, it’s easy to take them for granted. That’s why I’m pondering moving. I don’t like where I live. I’m here because my father brought us here and wanted a better life for us. Now that he’s gone and we’re all older, what’s keeping me? My mother will be fine; she’s got my siblings and her grandkids. Why can’t I move away? Perhaps I fear loneliness.
I guess I’m writing this because there are people who don’t see my conflict the same way. To them it’s not a problem and I’m being sensitive, or that I’m too attached. Am I? The question has come to mind. I often wonder if my family just happens to be that rare circumstance where they guilt trip you for ever thinking of leaving. Do they? Yes, to some extent. There is a passive-aggressive comment like, “Oh that’s okay. It’s your life. You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do.” Receiving blessings is not an option from most. It gets to you.
So yes, I have a dilemma. Do I move and fulfill my desires to finally call a place I live “home”, or do I stay and keep those I love most in this world close? Either way someone’s heart will be broken, right?
What do you think? Are you a part of the family who encourage each other to move away and prosper or do you think family should stay near each other always?